Teaching Kids About Prepping The House For Guests
EPISODE 26
by Dianne Jimenez
This article takes 19 minutes to read
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Teaching Kids About Prepping The House For Guests
In today’s episode I’m talking about getting the house ready for when guests come over. Now, I know YOU know how to do this already… I’m talking about Teaching Kids this skill.
If you have school-aged kids who are asking for their friends to come over, but you also want to step it up a notch, then this episode could be the one that arms you with a new direction, another perspective or even just inspires you to test some chores out with your kids.
In this episode you’ll learn:
- When’s the perfect time to bring the chore conversation up, aka ‘How do I get my kids motivated to do chores?’
- Next, get the steps I take when teaching my kids how to get the house ready before their friends arrive, where we touch on boundaries and ownership.
- Then we’ll touch on the differences between cleaning, organizing and tidying up and
- Finally, which spaces to target when there’s little time to prep
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Well hello there! I’m so glad you’re here for another episode of Parenting Guide: Organizing Habits Made Easy podcast. With the Holidays fast approaching and the kids being off of school for a few weeks, this also means the possibility that they’re going to want to have friends over more often.
If you’re here, I don’t need to tell you that having kids means busy schedules. Whether you have 1 or several kids, it can get pretty chaotic. And oftentimes, the busyness of family life goes hand in hand with a little bit (or a lot more) clutter in our homes.
Now, adding to this are the requests for their friends to come over. Which often results in MORE stuff added to our plate, right? In any case, that thought just makes me cringe or want to hide. But we can’t. So how do we do it? How do we all win: the house, the kids AND us?
But first, could you do me a favor? Would you be so kind as to forward this podcast episode, or any episode I’ve released, to another parent – or a few – who could benefit from listening to the tips, tricks and even the stories I talk about? I’d be forever grateful to you!
In the last year, my youngest, who’s 8, has been getting lots of invitations to birthdays and play dates. On top of that, over this past summer the kids found deeper connections with friends from our community pool, and got into the habit of hanging out at our place – which I love. But! Now that school has taken over MOST of their schedule and the Holidays are approaching, you can bet the requests will come flying in before we know it.
Now with my oldest, he’s had several play dates over the last couple of years – especially this last one since it was his final year of elementary school and I guess us moms were playing catch-up with the activities and play dates they missed due to the pandemic.
All this to say, it got me thinking…
Firstly, it’s the perfect opportunity for teaching kids about age-appropriate chores
Secondly, positioning these chores in a way of : when you get them out of the way quickly, it means fun and relaxation right after. AKA their friends are coming to hang out!
And finally, preparing our house for guests is a great skill to have and whether we realize it or not, the way we go about it is also passed on to our kids.
They may not understand this quite yet, or maybe they will if you’ve talked about their future with them before, but emphasizing that learning how to do these chores, and do them well, is actually going to benefit them big time when they have their own place later on!
We have A LOT to cover today and I’m so excited to share them with you. Are you ready? Let’s go!
When it comes to teaching kids about prepping the house ready for guests,
When’s a good time to bring up the conversation about chores?
For instance, when I’m talking to the kids I’ll introduce it like this:
- When your dad and I want people to come over, the house needs to be presentable. Right? You’ve seen us clean and organize and even have you guys help too right? Well having the house ready and maintaining a welcoming environment is a reflection of us and our family but also , we want people to feel good when they come over because it’s nice to come into a clean home, right?
- Now if you don’t like cleaning, and not a lot of people do – you know I don’t – then we have to do a little bit of it every day to make sure we put our things back where they belong. So by doing these things, there’ll be a lot LESS to put away and only clean small specific things when our friends come over.
As a result this is picture I painted well before their friends are scheduled to arrive (I’m talking , at least a few hours before). Now, one trick I do is to plant seeds like the picture I painted during casual conversations here and there. For instance, when we’re stuck in the car or gathered around over supper.
Make it a game
Between, the ‘would you rather’ and the ‘spelling’ games you can add a new game to your repertoire: ‘Pretend you’re a guest in our house. How would it make you feel if you saw: (insert whatever current state your house is in)?’
Or, pretend you were an inspector with a magnifying glass: ‘What’s the first thing you’d notice when you walk in?’
Here, you’re inviting them to just do a visual scan around the house and observe for a few minutes. I love to see what their take is on their surroundings.
In addition, I also like to show different perspectives when teaching kids so that I can listen in on what they come up with vs. showing and telling, all the time. Changing it up a bit to get some intel of what and how they think is the best.
Therefore, asking things like ‘what do you see?’ and ‘how does it make you feel?’ are great prompts in getting them to talk about it. In addition you get to see it all through another camera lens: theirs.
In other words, you don’t always have to have an occasion or a prompt to start talking about stuff like this with the kids. Oftentimes, when there’s no stress, time constraints or overwhelm, having a conversation on any regular day is often the IDEAL MOMENT.
You know how our kids will throw a question, a request or a comment out of nowhere?
Well, why not do as they do?
Bring up these observation questions out of nowhere. See what they come up with. You might have to add some context in there if they look confused or not coming up with anything. However, when you see their wheels start turning? OH! Whatever they come up with, is a good indication of their views about the state of the house.
The results could be: Are they unaware or just more tolerant of the clutter? Is it because they don’t know where things go? Or just haven’t exercised that muscle of always putting things away after they’re done?
The point here is to get their perspective and their thoughts about the tidiness of your home. Allow them to be in the “driver’s seat”, so to speak.
find out how families with 3+ kids tackle the beast: laundry!
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The steps I take to teach my kids how to get the house ready before their friends arrive
So how do I go about teaching kids about getting the house ready for guests?
It’s EASY to get them to do things now because their friends are coming over. It’s as though it’s like a big treat after a hard day’s work. However, I’m not saying: get them to do chores all day, no. This isn’t another rendition of Annie!
Since the friends are scheduled to come over later or within the next few days, it’s the perfect time to go through the following steps: And by the way, these are the same ones I used and continue to emphasize, every time my kids want people over.
Step #1: Establish ownership and a sense of pride
Now I’m not sure my 8 year old will get this, maybe my 10 year old might, but my 12 year old surely will, I tell him:
- “This is your house therefore you’re responsible for all the areas that you and your friends are hanging out in. So that means from the entrance to the bathroom and everything in between – even if you guys decide to go out on the patio. You’re responsible and need to have your eyes and ears open and ready to take action if needed. “
Now, I know this sounds like A LOT to ask – but really it isn’t. It’s to put into perspective that this is a great segue to
Step #2: Setting limits and boundaries when receiving guests
Trust me, when you’re in charge of more than 1 person, you WANT to create some rules and guidelines, right? So this is where teaching kids about limits and boundaries is super important. So I tell him. So I tell him:
- Whether it’s now or when you’re an old man, your place means you gotta oversee everything and make sure everyone’s behaving accordingly.
Now putting it this way can be a good deterrent for kids that aren’t yet mature enough to take on this role and that’s fine. An intro conversation won’t hurt them. We’re merely planting the seeds of what’s to come so that they can sit and simmer in it until they feel ready to take on the extra responsibility.
So back to boundaries and areas that are off limits. This is a good time to set some rules. For instance at our house, the bedrooms, especially our room, are off limits. However the kids’ rooms are semi off limits but I’ll get back to that later on.
Finally, step 3 on how I go about teaching kids about prepping the house for guests is…
Step #3 Plan it out with the chore list
In other words, it’s establishing what needs to be cleaned, organized and tidied up then writing it out on a paper. Now I understand, not all kids are at the same level. You know your kids and what they’re capable of doing. Therefore list these out for them and be as specific as possible.
To do this, I assign age-appropriate tasks to them such as cleaning the bathrooms. These are tasks assigned to my 10 and 12 year old. Putting away all the devices or sweeping the stairs is something my 8 year-old can handle. Rearranging the shoes at the entrance is something a younger kid can take care of. You know your kids best and what they’re capable of doing or taking on.
Practice makes…better
Therefore, I encourage you to explore these and don’t worry if it’s not done like the way you do it. There’ll be loads of instances to practice I promise!
So, I’ll create a list of all the things that should be done so the house is ready. Afterwards, I’ll go through this chore list with them – either verbally or actually showing them, if it’s something new to them.
Making a plan and getting everyone on the same page, holds them accountable, empowers them AND places the responsibility for doing their part. Without a doubt, this is where teamwork really makes THEIR dream work.
So in case you’re saying: “Dianne, their friends don’t come over often”.
I say, “Not a problem!’
Remember earlier when I mentioned that there doesn’t need to be an occasion to bring up the chore conversation or getting their perspective about the house?
Well, here too: They don’t need to have someone coming over to clean and organize the house.
Sure, it’s a big motivator but it’s not real, everyday life. Hence the reason why implementing an easy system that’s age appropriate for them, is a good foundation to start.
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What if my kids don’t like to do chores? Or how do you motivate kids to do chores?
My answer is to do small, focused work. In other words, time blocking it so that chores don’t take hours and hours to do, no. Who wants that anyway? Anywhere in the range of 20 minutes is a good time frame to work around.
Just to make things clear here, when I create a chore list at my house it doesn’t go without at least someone rolling their eyes, hearing feet stomping or, my favorite, the ‘sigh’. However, I shouldn’t let this last one get to me. I’ll admit it, I do the same thing !
All this to say is, I’ll get SOME reaction especially if no one’s coming over or if it’s not their friends coming over but ours. I get it. I was the same with my mom too. And especially when school’s out: Who’d want to do any work, right?
Nevertheless if they complain about the time it takes them to do XYZ then I’ll also point out the reason why it takes so long is because they get sidetracked with getting too deep into organizing or end up playing! Oftentimes it’s the latter.
Although getting too deep into organizing happens to most of us! So my role here is not only to help and do the things that are beyond their scope, but to also coordinate and keep everyone moving.
Grab those teaching opportunities
With my oldest, I do something a little more. I get him to try and figure out WHAT should be done when friends come over. He’s 12 and fully capable of critical thinking.
So we’ll do a walk through together and I’ll have him observe the areas as though he were a guest. Then I’ll ask questions such as:
- ‘Where would they go after coming in?’, and
- ‘If you guys get hungry or they need to use the washroom… What do these spaces look like?’ Do you know what snacks you’re serving? Do you want to expose X candy or gum?
Again, emphasizing limits and boundaries. Now when we go through a definite must-clean space, I’ll ask:
- ‘If I need a towel, is it clean? What about soap? Do we have enough? Is everything where they should be?’
- ‘If using the toilet is everything…. All right?’
Therefore by going through the main areas with him, observing and asking a variety of questions here and there, it just primes him for that role of ‘host’.
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What’s the difference between cleaning, organizing and tidying up?
Many people use these terms interchangeably all the time. For instance, tidying up your room is the same as cleaning your room. Or organizing your space is similar to tidying things up. However,
There are some differences
First off, how I see it is, cleaning usually involves removal of dirt and grime. We can use products, soap and water or just water itself for these spaces and good ol’ elbow grease.
Secondly, when we say tidy up, it’s simply clearing the clutter or mess from a space or area and putting the items in their appropriate location, or ‘home’. For example, this could be books being put back on the shelf or toys back in the toy box, unused paper in the recycling bin or garbage in the waste.
And finally, when it comes to organizing, that’s all about creating a system so that all the items have a home, the activities done in that space follows a sequence of events and the items that you need are within the area or zone that you need them to be in. For instance, when you’re preparing a salad: The cutting board and knives are relatively close to where you’ll be chopping and cutting right? And the oils and spices? They aren’t in the garage or another room – unless THAT room is where you normally prepare salads. Organizing follows a system, a structure, so there’s a smooth flow when you’re working in that space.
How I structure out the cleaning and tidying zones when there’s not a lot of time before the friends arrive
How do we split up the task for cleaning the important areas?
If you split your home up in sections it’ll be easier, and faster to organize, tidy up and clean.
First, let’s start with cleaning:
As I mentioned before, the only space that probably would need a good clean, or one-over, is the bathroom.
For instance, if people popped in unexpectedly, I’ll most certainly make sure the bathroom is presentable and good to go, no pun intended!
You see, I’m a stickler for this space. I’ve had many uneasy and forgettable experiences when staying at hotels in the past. Although my house isn’t a hotel, obviously, I wouldn’t want to put my guests in any kind of unease.
Secondly, how do we start teaching kids how to clean this space?
About a year or so ago, I gave my 2 oldest ones a few thorough tutorials on cleaning the toilet bowl and the sink. My daughter was 8 or 9 and my oldest, 10 or 11. I even went to the dollar store with them so that they could pick out their gloves they would be using to clean. Consequently, these now hang inside the cabinet door under the sink in the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms.
Not too long ago, while I was doing a deep clean of the basement bathroom , I noticed the boys watching TV in the next room. I suddenly got the idea to jump at this perfect opportunity of teaching the kids. It just so happens, too, that my youngest had been so eager to do what his older siblings were doing and kept asking “when am I going to learn how to clean the bathroom?”.
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Bless his little heart but like, who says that?
So since he’s asking, why not? Also, it’d be the perfect opportunity to do a follow up with my oldest one. Everyone needs a refresher from time to time.
Alright, next up for cleaning (because I know there are allergies associated to this) is dusting.
Dusting can be super simple or a pain in the butt. I grew up with the latter so, I prefer easy. Seeing that my 2 older kids are busy tackling the bathrooms, I’ve got the youngest one passing a Swiffer duster.
Remember how we have very little time to prep and think about the areas that are only accessible to our guests? Well, that’s why the common spaces where the kids would normally hang out get the one-over. So that’s the living room and the basement.
Finally the last parts that need any kind of dirt or grime removed is wiping down the mirrors and glass surfaces. Just to emphasize here, we’re keeping it to a minimum, so I don’t wipe down the windows unless there are areas that absolutely need it.
Also, let’s get real here…
We’re talking about our kids’ friends coming over, not creating a sterile environment . I keep it to a minimum: so that would be the mirrors, in the bathrooms and in the common areas as well as the tempered glass that’s on our banister.
When the kids were toddlers, I didn’t really pay much attention to this area because 1) it wasn’t a priority when they were small and 2) when you have toddlers, the house isn’t always spotless. There’s going to be handprints everywhere and a squeaky clean house IS kinda hard to maintain.
So sorry guests, you’re gonna see some handprints from my babies…
However, now that they’re much older, a good wipe-down using my vinegar, Dawn dish soap and water concoction takes no time at all. In fact, the 3 of them will jump to do this task because it’s fun, quick and what kid doesn’t like to use a spray bottle?
The only drawback here is that 1 time, my daughter got over zealous and ended up taking things outdoors and wet a bunch of paper towels with a very soapy version of my concoction, propped the towels up at the wide end of a broom and started wiping down the Bay window… but she didn’t have a squeegee or something to wipe down the excess soap. This resulted in our windows filled with soapy streaks which made it look way worse than before!
However, on the positive side, her heart was in the right place. In the same manner, she’s just like me: a great starter just not the best finisher…
Finally, tidying up and organizing:
Because time isn’t on our side here, all the common areas would need a quick tidy up and organizing. This means organizing the shoes and coats at the entrance so the guests have a designated space to put their things, doing a quick scan of the living room, dining room, kitchen to put away items that don’t belong and arranging the areas so they look presentable.
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For example, at our house, I normally handle the kitchen and the kids work as a team to organize and tidy up the rest of the common spaces. To clarify, my kids are like little tornadoes. Therefore, you can guarantee there’s always something lying around that’s theirs for weeks on end, whether it’s on the island, the couch, the coffee table and most certainly you’ll find their things in the dining area – because that’s where they do their homework. However, us parents are no angels either. Hence, I can’t put all the blame on them.
The kids’ bedrooms are semi-limited
Now depending on the size and layout of your home, if it’s anything like ours, the bedrooms are all on the same floor as the common areas. In essence, you walk by them on your way to the washroom.
Also, you may not know this about me but I’m particular when it comes to outside clothes going on the bed. And what I mean by this is, clothes worn by anyone, whether it’s my kids’, their friends’, our families, even ourselves. If they went outside or spent all day in them, the clothes shouldn’t be going on the bed.
To clarify, at our house we shower at night so the bed, or this sacred space if you want to call it that, is where we’re clean and ready for rest and relaxation. It’s a precious space I guess – now that I say it out loud.
However! I KNOW my kids. They love showing off their rooms, particularly my daughter’s room because it has this nook or space, right above, but next to her bed. In order to access it, you gotta climb on the bed.… Well, that’s not happening !
So, I tell them: ‘If you want to show off your rooms, that’s great but there’s no hanging around there unless you’re all on the floor… and your room has to be tidied up!”
Often I get at least 1 kid shuddering at the thought of another space to take care of. So there goes THAT idea of hanging out in their rooms.
So there you have it! I just walked you through how I go about
Teaching Kids About Prepping The House For Guests.
I hope you got 1 or 2 nuggets to try out or got inspiration from. Now, if a friend’s been chatting with you about how to get their kids involved with cleaning and maintaining the house but didn’t know HOW to do this, please share this episode with them via text, email or post it up on social media!
By doing this, you’re not only helping me by sharing my message, but you’re probably the pebble that will help change the course of action in a positive way for those families who need some guidance or direction. They might be overwhelmed by all the information out there on YouTube, Google or Pinterest. But not after you’ve shared an episode on your social platforms because YOU, brought this up to them – and they, my friend, trust you.
So thank you SO very much for spending your precious time with me today. I can’t wait to have you back here next week. Same time, same place! Bye Bye!
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