How to Prevent Holiday Burnout
EPISODE 27
by Dianne Jimenez
This article takes 18 minutes to read
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How to Prevent Holiday Burnout
Hello hello hello! Welcome back to another episode of Parenting Guide: Organizing Habits Made Easy podcast. I’m so excited to share this episode with you because I think it’s an important one; Especially since it’s about the Holiday Season.
So in this episode I’ll be talking about the following:
- First off, how to set the tone so that your intentions are established and used as your guiding light to get through this season.
- Next, you’ll learn ways to pace yourself so as to avoid the overwhelm that can lead to burnout.
- Third, I’ll talk about creating space so that our mental health is always in check.
- And finally, I’ll talk about something many of us struggle with and that’s: Setting boundaries because we know what lies ahead of us but how can we manage and control our tendencies as well?
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Ok so back to the episode. You’re listening to podcast episode
#27: How to Prevent Holiday Burnout
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To many, holiday preparations start after Halloween. Others push it to the start of Black Friday. If you’re like us, I start putting stuff up somewhere around the first week or 2 of December. Reason being is our tree and decorations must stay up for a good week into January.
Basically, everything stays up after the 6th because we also celebrate Armenian Christmas. However, quite a few people (and I know some friends who do this) start their holiday season as early as the end of summer vacation. That’s a full 3 months of conceptualizing, preparing and implementing!
Avoiding burnout
So with this in mind, as well as being mindful of my own feelings and reasoning about waiting to put up the decorations, it got me thinking about the impact this season has on our mental health, emotional wellness and overall well-being.
Let’s agree, this is a busy time of the year on TOP of it being the holidays. For many it’s year-end. Therefore work is demanding about getting all our numbers in, all the sales accounted for and working for that big bonus. This is also a time where the heaviness from losing someone can be felt so deeply. Or the feelings of guilt and self-worthiness can come creeping in and stinging some of us. It’s enough to get burnout… but let’s not get to that point.
In creating this episode, my hope is to arm you with tools and strategies for how to go about the holidays that won’t lead you to burnout. In addition, to give you tips and tricks on how to manage the overwhelm in order to be present and in the moment. And finally, to be able to enjoy the holiday season amidst all the chaos, demands and spreading the joy.
SET THE TONE
(To reduce burnout)
In other words, this has to do with being aware and realistic about the current situation. In this case we are IN the holiday season but this first strategy doesn’t only have to be applied here, no. Setting the tone can be for any situation where life is going to change for a certain amount of time or indefinitely.
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This is something I brought up by chance with my husband Onnig back in June. It was right around the end of the kids’ school year and the end of all the graduation meetings and final celebration. It was during the rush to get all the teachers’ gifts and thank you notes in on-time as well as coordinate everything else in between for each kid. Without a doubt, it was enough to cause anyone to skate around the burnout zone.
However, before I got to that, it hit me. In a space between 2 breaths, I had a moment of self-awareness and a reality check of what was to be for the next 2 and half months: Summer Schedule.
Specifically, summer brings in a whole different kind of chaos than the regular one we endure 9-10 months of the year when they’re at school. At least with school, the kids leave for most of the day.
I had a moment of self-awareness and a reality check of what was to be for the next 2 and half months
What was soon to become my reality, like they have been every summer for the past 6 years at least, the kids were going to be home 24/7. Now, don’t get me wrong, we designed our lifestyle to be this way. And it has tons of benefits than I’m actually letting on. In essence, it’s just to contrast the massive change in structure and mindset that was about to happen. It takes a couple of days to adjust but soon I embraced the slower pace.
Communication is key
So about setting the tone: At the beginning of this past summer, I had a conversation with Onnig; Where I pointed out, because the kids were going to be home all summer and where we’d constantly be in and out every day, that the house? It was going to be… a little less orderly.
I think I said it more bluntly like,
“don’t expect the house to be super clean every day …”
And he was totally in agreement and understood the demands it had on me. (He’s such a sweet guy)
Anyhow, I simply wanted to bring this up. Not because he’d be checking, but just to let him know and to bring him to where my thoughts were. Also to paint the picture of what the next few months were going to look like.
I mean, just think about what your house looks like after any holiday! Or even just after the weekend. It’s a whole other dynamic: they’re home. All or most meals will be here. They will be playing, entertaining and into more things in the house.
So yeah. This conversation was actually to put out there on the table and lower OUR expectations when it came to the house’s.. cleanliness or tidiness.
Well, I shouldn’t say cleanliness because no, we’re not living in dirt or anything. But I can tell you that I wasn’t washing my floors every single week or every second one, for that matter! Now I’m going to be real with you. Handling the floors wasn’t even on my radar until I was getting grossed out or if we had guests coming over. That’s when I would bust out the mop and bucket, then clean the heck out of our floors after they left!
Just to say, tasks like this were more on a must-do basis vs. a need-to basis. And anyway, don’t they say sterilizing your home too much isn’t good for our immune system? We need those germs to keep us strong and healthy! That, and washing our hands too – let’s not forget that! Thanks Covid.
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Alright, next up on ‘How to prevent holiday burnout’ is
PACE YOURSELF
(To reduce burnout)
Now what do I mean by this is: Do a little bit of decluttering every day and don’t tidy up alone. We all know this time of year can make our year end calendar quite full. So the house tends to take a back seat. Also if you’ll be receiving guests, there’s a lot of hustle and bustle to ensure the house is close to Pinterest Perfect. But like many home staging projects, the bulk of our things, the everyday stuff ends up being shoved in another room or closet. Until… we can address them later on. Oftentimes, that “later on” doesn’t happen right when the guests leave or even the next day. But MUCH later like in the spring or even in the summertime. This is because after the Holidays, it’s back to the daily grind and… there’s just not enough time to go through all that! Sound familiar?
Managing your time helps to prevent burnout
Therefore, I strongly encourage you to take baby steps throughout the day when it comes to tidying up and straightening your space out. Focus on 1 room or space at a time. If you have to, set a timer for 10 minutes and that’s it. And don’t forget that buzzer! If you’re anything like me, I tend to get carried away moving from one room to the next without having finished the last one. And next thing you know? I’ve been cleaning for 2 hours! I’ll say it again: Don’t forget that buzzer!
If you have helpers then it’s a great opportunity to get the rest of the family involved too. What I often do is make a list of all the things that need to be done. Essentially, it’s so the house feels like it’s gotten a good cleaning despite all the décor covering most of the surfaces in the common rooms. Then, I’ll assign age-appropriate tasks to my kids. These tasks generally take no longer than 20 minutes to do. On top of this, there’s usually laundry we have to deal with. Have I ever mentioned that laundry’s never ending? So especially in busy times like right now: you can guarantee there’s at least a basket or 2 that’s been sitting in the living room for a few days just waiting for us to take action on it.
Avoid laundry overwhelm
Now how I usually go about this is I get the kids to separate the baskets of clothes into 4 piles: tops, bottoms, underwear and socks. Then from there, we each take a section to fold. After the few minutes it takes to sort into 4 piles, it takes under 10 minutes to fold each section provided there hasn’t been any distractions. Which in my kids’ place, there most probably is because they like to fold while watching something on Netflix. Whereas I like to just focus on the task without watching anything. Nevertheless, it goes by quicker. Often the reason why too, is that there’s only 1 folding technique to concentrate on. When you’re doing the same thing over and over, you just get better and faster every time! So sorting laundry into 4 piles BEFORE folding is a total game changer!
Ok! So you know how I said I hold off until the first couple of weeks in December before putting up the tree and all the decorations? There are 2 reasons why I do this, where the first one ties in with the 2nd reason.
As mentioned earlier our decorations stay up beyond the 26th or the 31st. They stay up until AFTER the 6th of January because that’s when we also celebrate Armenian Christmas.
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Along with the tree and the stockings, I also like to display the kids’ holiday-related arts & crafts from when they were in daycare up until present day. I place them all over the walls, windows, hanging from the light fixtures, and all the table tops and dining chairs. If you listen to my podcast episode #25: 17 Habits to Making Our Lives Easier, I talk about having chair covers being a game changer. Especially when you have glossy furniture that highlights all the handprints, stains and whatnot on them, like mine do. I had Onnig make some cute, festive ones for the holidays. I’ll link the episode in today’s show notes.
Reduce visual clutter
All this to say is, with EVERYTHING out and displayed: the red, green, silver and gold, without a doubt, the cluttered look and feel in the main areas of our home are very far from giving that sense of calm. However, when only the lights on our tree are on, it truly feels magical. As for the visual chaos that seems to take over most of the day? Well those lights really make up for it at night.
So you can see why I’m not in a rush to put up the Christmas decorations. It’s purely to reduce the amount of time our senses – mainly our visuals, are getting exposed to the over stimulation our holiday decor can bring. It can get pretty overwhelming mentally. Let’s not forget all the other pressures and demands placed on us that can lead anyone to burnout.
If you can avoid heading down that road and pacing yourself with all the to-dos, even just a bit, then I’m thrilled. But don’t stop here. Let’s go to the next strategy on How to prevent Holiday Burnout, which is third on the list:
CREATE MENTAL SPACE
(To reduce burnout)
Ever notice a change in not only the pace of your day, but a change in mindset when the kids are back to school after a long holiday? What about the summer off? Or when they’ve been sick at home or even after just the weekend?
When you’re home with: them all day every day? It’s noisy! Not only in actual real life, but inside your mind. There’s A LOT going between our ears when everyone’s home right? But that moment? When they take off and you know you have that bit of freedom to think about anything else, other than the kids? Oh, it’s just amazing.
After the summer ended and everyone was back in school this year, I heard it from a few mom friends in DIFFERENT chat groups that I’m part of. The different reactions and comments that were flying in from:
- “OMG FREEDOM!!!”, to
- “WOW! I got SO MUCH done today, I can’t believe it!”, to
- “I love my kids to pieces but they take up all my thinking space. I was able to do things I’ve been putting off for weeks!”
I love my kids to pieces but they take up all my thinking space.
Now with the holidays coming up: I don’t need to paint the picture again about how our physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being is highly susceptible to go into overdrive and have a potential for burnout.
Silence is golden
With all the noise out there, it’s extremely important to set some quiet time as much as possible. Whether it’s running out for a quick errand and literally closing the car door from all the chaos of the outside world . Or, and this is my favorite, when I’m outside with my kids while on my way to the car or watching from the bottom of the hill as they slide down countless times, I like to just look up. I close my eyes for a few seconds and take at least 1 long, deep breath.
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Funny enough, when you’re bundled up for the weather, it kinda muffles the sounds around you. It’s pretty cool: Having those minutes of quiet as you look up into the sky and feel the cold wind on your face. Or, if you’re lucky enough, feel the snowflakes melt off your cheeks. It’s almost magical!
If you can get outside, do it. Go take that walk early in the morning or in the evenings. It’s such a contrast to the everyday demands, pressure and busy-ness. If going out is totally impossible for you, perhaps investing in noise canceling earphones as you wrap presents or ice another dozen cookies. It’s good enough for now.
The point here is allowing your mind to reset and creating space to gain SOME breathing room and clarity, from time to time. And this will benefit us not only throughout this holiday season but beyond it if we continue this practice. Also, doing this with intention and making it part of our everyday routine, keeps us grounded and in the moment. Something we can all benefit from, right?
Alright, we made it to the last strategy on ‘How to prevent holiday burnout’ is to
SET BOUNDARIES
Here’s what I mean about this: You know the holidays often means spending time with loved ones even when it’s awkward. It also means getting together with friends you just saw the other week to those you haven’t seen in years. At the same time it also includes Christmas parties and staff dinners from the wild and fun to the most eerily quiet ones. And everything else in between!
I remember when we were in our late teens when my sister and I had boyfriends. Coordinating their family dinners along with ours was strategic. Call it a preview of adulthood: making plans with people you want to be with and those you have to be with…. But it just takes a lot of energy, effort and the willingness to attend more than 1 party on the same day!
And let’s not forget the play dates. If you listened to my podcast episode from last week, #26: Teaching Kids About Prepping The House For Guests you’ll understand. But if you’re a parent of school-aged kids, at least, whenever school’s out, you KNOW the requests will come flying in to hang out with their friends.
January is the ‘Monday of months’
Avoid going over budget
Oftentimes too, the time off means ‘let’s DO stuff!’. From ice skating to skiing to building snowmen or maybe relaxing at the spa…it can cost a pretty penny for the extras. Not to mention taking advantage of all the year-end sales and boxing day discounts. How far can your wallet stretch?
Which brings me to my next area that tends to go beyond our limits is: our budget. Whether it’s the pandemic that has us feeling like we need to do more and buy more. Or it’s guilt. Maybe it’s just a huge dose of generosity this time of year brings. Whatever the reason, our budget can take a big hit and we won’t feel it until January rolls in. There’s a reason why they call January the ‘Monday of months’ because you’ll feel that slap of reality the moment you get the bills. It’s enough to set your mood from festive to “blah” for a long time.
Between a booked calendar and going over budget, the effects of this alone can lead anyone to burnout. But it doesn’t have to go that route IF you set some boundaries first.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying don’t visit friends or family. I’m just saying after any event, give yourself space to not do anything or go anywhere and just be. As Dr. Siggie always says – slow down.
And in regards to the purchases, I’m also not saying don’t get that massage you so deserve because you haven’t done anything for yourself in months or even years. However, be very mindful before pulling out your credit card after seeing “sale” or “discount”.
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Do my kids have too much?
A sentence that always comes to mind that works for me is “do they really need this?”. Especially if it’s something physical, like a tangible product. Whenever I invest in something, I think long-term. How will this help us or the recipient today, tomorrow, next year, the next few years? Is this something that’s easy to maintain? And the organizer / mom in me is always asking ‘do we have room for this in our house’ and what I mean by room is not only physical space, but time and energy too to use it, care for it, etc.
Alright, so there you have it. My 4 strategies to help you prevent burnout over the Holidays.
How to prevent holiday burnout
– the recap –
Set the tone:
Remember to have an open and honest discussion with your spouse and even the kids about what’s going on for the next few weeks. It’s important to explain what the state of the house can and will look like. Also, set the tone within yourself about the expectations you normally place on yourself when it comes to the holidays. By all means, give yourself, your family and one another grace. Consequently, this is totally in line with the next strategy…
Pace yourself:
It’s important to do a little bit of decluttering every day and don’t do it alone. Albeit, there’s nothing like a group effort of just 10-20 minutes at the end of the day. Or if you prefer: after meals to give you all a prompt, then do so. Truly, there’s no better feeling of accomplishment and teamwork when everyone’s pulling their weight in keeping the house organized and tidy.
Create mental space:
Whether it’s journaling for 10 minutes before the day starts or as part of your unwinding ritual. Moreover, getting some fresh air no matter what you’re doing outside: sledding, dropping off donations or in between visits. Take a few minutes to yourself and just breathe. And finally, strategy #4 to prevent holiday burnout is…
Set boundaries:
In essence, this last strategy is about setting boundaries with your time by spacing some events out, here and there if it’s within your control. To emphasize, slowing down and being mindful of what you decide to spend your hard earned money on, are important for staying within a comfortable zone financially.
After listening to this podcast episode, I hope these strategies gave you a direction for protecting your mental health and sidestep that path towards burnout.
Given these points, if today’s episode helped you in any way and you know of another parent struggling with their mental health during the holidays. MAYBE you just have this intuition, a feeling, that people in general could use a reminder to keep their mindset in check? Then please be so kind as to share the link of this episode with them via text, in an email saying “Hey, I just listened to this podcast and I think it’s really helpful”. Or simply by sharing the link of this episode on social media. You can grab the link, now, it’s DianneJimenez.com/27
Ok my sweet friend, that’s it for me! Thank you for being here. I’ll see you again next time! Bye bye!
LISTEN TO PODCAST NOW: HOW TO PREVENT HOLIDAY BURNOUT
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