Work-Life Balance For Moms
EPISODE 30
by Dianne Jimenez
This article takes 13 minutes to read
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Work-Life Balance for Moms
In this episode you’ll learn the reasons why it’s so tough to balance out all the things related to motherhood, work, homelife and our own personal goals. First off, I’ll give you a glimpse of HOW to balance things out using the insight from an article I recently published. Then I’ll also talk about my secret strategy when trying to prioritize the ever-growing to-do list and gain some perspective on what’s eating most of your time. Finally, you’ll get access to a free resource I created to help you get super clear on what to do next.
Basically, I guess it’s fair to say this episode’s going to be like a free mini training for how to deal with the very challenging work-life balance. So you’ll want to grab a pen and a paper, my friend, to take notes. Or, you can save this episode, listen to the replay and get to work.
Are you ready? Let’s do this!
Welcome!
Hey there, welcome back! You’re listening to another episode of the Parenting Guide: Organizing Habits Made Easy podcast. I’m SO happy you’re here with me again. Thank you for squeezing me into your very busy schedule. Now speaking of making time for things that are important to us, I’ve got a great episode for you today! It’s all about making time for: the things (and the people), that are important to us, stuff we have no choice but to make time for; And then there’s the stuff we really want to make time for but just don’t know where or how to even plug it in. I’m talking about work-life balance.
Want to go from 'drowning' to peace of mind?
Work-life (im)balance
We all know as a mom we play many roles: chef, driver, counselor, referee, judge and jury, therapist, friend, builder and finder of toys, artist, teacher, etc. It’s constantly changing from one moment to the next, and often without notice.
Ironically, we have all the answers to problems, struggles and challenges. But at the same time, have no clue what to do, or what we’re even doing for that matter. Motherhood is a constant push-pull on our emotions, energy, patience… and it’s all worth it. Because this whole adventure is for the most beautiful and wonderful creatures on earth, our children!
For these reasons alone, there’s no doubt the toll on our mental load is quite heavy. Oftentimes, we get the short end of the stick. But we keep going and push through it all. In essence, it all comes from love. Now, if you ask any mom out there, anything short of a 100% effort on our part results in guilt and/or worry. This vicious cycle of selflessness, joy, love, guilt and worry is far from healthy and putting it out there like this, just raises the question, why? Undeniably, mothers would walk to the ends of the earth for those we love most.
With the joys of motherhood, come the challenges of having to balance everything out: all the things involving the kids, the house, our relationships with others, our passion projects, trying to fit in our own personal needs and then there’s our regular job!
How do moms get a better work-life balance?
In case you’re thinking, where am I going with all of this? To be completely honest, it’s actually the premise of an article I wrote for a local paper here in the Montreal area, The Suburban. In the article, talk about some strategies to balance out the whole ‘work-life balance’ dilemma as well as provide you with my take on WHY it’s all so imbalanced.
find out how families with 3+ kids tackle the beast: laundry!
Here’s an excerpt from the article
What makes it imbalanced?
When looking at the amount of where our wakeful time is spent, we can split this into 4 categories: work, home, family and personal time. Aside from the ‘work’ category, the other 3 can be considered as irregular and inconsistent when time’s spent in those categories.
To clarify, the time we spend with our family is not always the same in magnitude or length of time. As moms know, our family’s demands can come screeching in from anywhere and at any time.
Although it’s a stable structure in of itself, maintaining it requires consistency but it’s not always possible especially when you’ve got kids. For instance, our home can go from messy to clean(ish) to things needing repair or replaced. From patching up walls to sowing holes and everything else in between. The demands are endless and sporadic . In addition, anything can happen at any given time when it comes to our home. Hence the time we spend for this category is inconsistent and irregular.
Finally when it comes to the time spent for our own needs and wants, this too fluctuates. Albeit, some of us do retain and live by a structured self-care routine. However, when the other 2 categories require more of our attention and energy, more often than not, our own personal time is affected (i.e. little to no sleep, skip the workout, cancel that mani-pedi, etc.)
To read the full article, click here.
Sharing is caring
Now, could you do me a huge favor? Once you’re at the blog post, simply click on the share button. From there you’ll have the option to copy the link so you can text it to fellow moms. Another way is to share it directly on social media. by clicking on the icons.
The reason for this push in sharing (any) my content is because my mission is to help out as many moms out there as possible. In addition, I want to help make their lives a little easier through the pieces of content I create and put out there. So by sharing it, especially this one about work-life balance, I believe, is something many women (not just moms) struggle with every single day.
If you could, please share it with 2 friends or your mom groups. I would truly appreciate your help!
My Secret Sauce for setting the kids up for success
From struggling with work-life balance to clarity
Alright! Now to get in a little deeper with this whole work-life balance thing that many of us struggle with, myself included. Here’s an example: I find it truly hard to fit in the things that are important for my health and well-being. More specifically, having the discipline to actually DO the dang work! I don’t know, call it laziness sometimes, feeling mentally drained, or being overwhelmed with ideas that it’s hard to press pause and just get a workout in!
It’s funny, I can find every excuse in the book to NOT work out. But that feeling I get when it’s been a long time since the last time I’ve done anything physical for myself… I feel like crap! Honestly, I don’t like the way I feel and forget about the way I look.
However, without going down that road of potential negative talk, let’s take that baby step together. And what I mean by this is taking the stuff out of our heads and laying it out on the “table”. Albeit, not the literal table but you know what I mean. If you know me by now, you know I’m talking about brain dumping.
Next, I’m going to walk you through an exercise that ties into the article I wrote. So if you’ve read it AND listening to this podcast right now, you’re ahead of the game and getting lots of bang for your buck (or fake money because what I’m giving you right now is free!)
How do we prioritize the to-do list?
Remember the 3 areas that normally take up our wakeful time, aside from work? Such areas are the stuff relating to the house, the stuff relating to the family and then there’s our own personal stuff. Now what I’m about to share is my go-to strategy when there’s SO much going on with my kids, their activities, home life on top of all the cleaning and tidying up we need to catch up on.
…That’s right, you heard me correctly: WE need to catch up on the cleaning and tidying because, we ALL live in the house and everyone contributes to the chaos. So everyone can do their part in cleaning up, even the young ones!
3 things to establish now before losing your s#!t later on (during the school year)
Going back to my strategy for prioritizing my to-do list in order to keep me on the path of a work-life balance. No doubt, this strategy helps me find instant clarity and breathing room for my brain: I grab a pen and a paper and get ready to brain dump. But wait, it’s not just ANY type of brain dump, there’s more to it!
To illustrate, I used to just empty everything out on a sheet of paper. Kind of like on point form? As a result, that helped to empty my brain instantly but it didn’t reduce the overwhelm completely. Nevertheless brain dumping and seeing everything laid out on the paper is both relieving and anxiety provoking at the same time. Reason being is because you actually get a visual of ALL the things that need to get done!
No wonder we’re always saying:
‘There’s NEVER enough time!’
Then by the end of the day, we’re mentally and physically drained. Therefore, just listing it (brain dumping) on a piece of paper isn’t enough to get clarity. In fact it’s only step 1 of my brain dumping process. The next step will not only give you clarity but direction too. on which item to do next. Normally I use this approach often when time isn’t a factor, meaning there’s no deadline to consider. When I use this approach, every time my mind’s filled and I feel like I’m spinning around in circles doing things, half-ass. And I literally see myself doing everything and not accomplishing anything.
Do you ever feel like that sometimes?
Categorize your To-Do List
Therefore, step 2 of my brain dumping process is to categorize your ‘to do’ list items under 3 headings
Heading #1: ‘Stuff for the home’
- like chores, groceries, errands that need to get done, repairs and returns
- Get oil changed for the car, mowing the lawn, etc.
- So basically, it’s everything to do with the house and car
Heading #2 : ‘Stuff for the family’
- So an example of this would be calling and scheduling Dr. appointments, gathering last minute school supplies, coordinating carpool for each kid’s activity, caring for pets,. Emailing the teachers, filling out the forms, making sure the kids’ nails are cut short, etc.
Basically, everything to do with the people and pets in the house.
Free training: "How to find time in a busy schedule"
You are in your own category
Now, at this point you might think “So heading #2 also includes me.” It doesn’t, and I’ll explain.
Too often parents, moms especially, tend to NOT make their own wants and needs a priority. Or these get shoved to the back burner. But let me ask you this: without you, fully present and healthy, then… What’s the point? What does this mean for the kids, your family and yourself in the long run?
So if you have passions and projects going on or maybe WANT to explore, then how can it all happen if you don’t consider yourself in this whole equation? Work-life balance, remember? You’re a huge part of that ‘life’. So that’s why it’s ultra important and needs its own heading. Can you guess? That’s right:
Heading #3: ‘Stuff for me’
Now this can be split in 2 subheadings :
- For self care: like reading, exercising, taking classes, having some alone time, wanting quiet time for reflection or just silence (which we all need from time to time) and
- Projects/Hobbies/Side gigs: For instance, working on your business or passion project, or a hobby.
No doubt, this category is what keeps us alive, interesting AND interested. I say this because you were someone before you had kids, met your partner, or before you had this job. And when we keep learning, developing ourselves and doing things that ‘light us up!’, people FEEL that and it makes an impact on them, more than we even realize or expect. So put yourself up there my friend!
Benefits of organizing our to-do lists
Now that you have your ‘to-do’ list items out of your head and on paper, your mind has more space to “breathe”.
Also, what I love about this technique is that the items are nicely organized and structured, so you can clearly see which heading has a lot of items. From there, you can further evaluate and see which of these can be delegated, shared or taken on yourself. The beauty here is now you can decide what specific things need your personal attention because not everything has to fall on you. Work-life balance, remember?
Stay on track with laundry & tips to getting the kids involved
Another beautiful thing about categorizing our to-do list is you’ll see which subheadings have little to no items. Can you take a guess which subheading this would be? That’s right, it could very well possibly be ‘Stuff for me’ heading. So perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for you to do a little self-check: what will bring you joy, more energy or peace of mind? Pick something that’s just for you.
Take a closer look…
Now I just want to remind you that when you brain dump and categorize everything and see it on paper, understand that these are thoughts and ideas from your to-do list and, yes, even your wish list. It’s to give you a different perspective, an awareness if you will, of how much is needed from you. And if you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and depleted, you may want to tweak that section of the list a little by delegating it or maybe sharing the load with your spouse, partner or kid. Another option is to consider deleting it off your list completely because you just don’t have the bandwidth for it right now. And that’s OK.
Free resource to help with work-life balance
I’ve created a free PDF worksheet for you to brain dump all your to-list items.
The next step after this brain dump is to plug in your calendar WHEN you’ll be completing these to-list items. Don’t forget if you’re delegating, let them know what exactly needs to be done. If you’re sharing the task, don’t forget to have the discussion with whoever’s helping out with this and set a date that’s convenient for you both. Good luck with tackling the to-list items inside a schedule that makes sense for you. As always, I’m here rooting for you!
So there you have it, a mini training on how to tackle the work-life balance many of us struggle with. I hope you found this episode valuable. Don’t forget to download your PDF worksheet.
And if you would be so willing, I’d LOVE to see your list items all categorized. So snap a picture of it and tag me on Instagram @1tidyplace or on Facebook @DianneJimenez. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got going and cheers to you for doing this. You’re 1 step ahead than you were on the path to work-life balance.
Have yourself a great week my friend! I can’t wait to have you back here again next time! Take care.
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